I am 17 years old now. Going to 18.


Recently I have been giving my age some thoughts. Part of me really don't want to grow up. The other day I was chatting with my girl friends and we sudden;y talked about marriage and babies! What a strange conversation topic but the concern was age. When is the best age to get married and to have kids. Mind you I don't even have a boyfriend now! LOL. Anyway it's really interesting to hear my friends explain their point of views and it makes me know them better too. Qiu Ju is destined to be a career women. Career first before babies. But the irony lies in the fact that she wants to be a Gynecologist and she thinks that a child can be a burden to herself but is a joy to others. Now that doesn't make sense at all. How can you think that children are a sorce of burden and still want to deliver them into the world? Eh! Most of us in the conversation decided to get married before 30 years old somehow. I really think it's darn cool to look back 10 years later and to see where we're at.


Maybe the fear about growing up is the first big step into the working world. Studying is so much easier when you just deal with dead books and notes. They are inanimate so they can't hurt you. But people, people are different. Watching Ugly Betty has proven to be that office politics is a vice. At the same time it has made me realise that no one can avoid it. The fear of the great unknown is just suffocating at times.

Ugly Betty is my current favourite TV show. I think it emcompasses many real life values and issues in every episode. I love the way Betty stands up for her own rights and I love her for her courage and strong moral values. It's something I look forward to (other than Spongebob) on TV. It makes me laugh and I feel like I've gain a bit after watching every episode. Watching Betty and other characters getting tangled up in their web of affairs and seeing them deal with it can really make you see the world in a different light. Another good show is My Name is Earl. This show is just super entertaining and funny. I love the way Earl and gang always get into stupid sticky situations and the way they deal with it is just: LOL. And the whole Karma thing, it just adds spice to the whole story.

How fast time flies. Was just talking to my senior and it suddenly struck me that she was in my shoes just one year ago and now look at her, she's preparing to got to US. I retook my SAT reasonging test and I managed to improve my score a weeeee but. Still not good enough for Harvard, I hear that that you need 2100 on your reasonging test. I got like 2093 this time round but I'm not really sure about my score either. Are you supposed to add up every score you see on the page cause' mine says: Critical Reading XXX, Math Section XXX, Writing Section XXX, Essay and one other thing which I can't remember. So I just added all the scores together. But I don't think I'm doing it right cos there's a 3 at the back and that seems wrong. Argh. I just can't do SAT. My Critical Reading pulled me down, I got like 87% for that section. Not good enough.

I still have no idea what I will be studying or doing next year but I have a rough idea of what I want to do once A levels are over. For one I need to get a job and learn to drive. I'm pretty excited about learning and really getting to drive a car, then I don't have to always depend on my Dad so much and my Mum and sisters will love me more since I can bring them to the places they want to go. HAHA.

So I'm waiting, still waiting for God or some higher being to enlighten me, give me a direction and tell me where I am supposed to go. But I remember that Dean said that our lives are like a gigantic piece of Jigsaw Puzzle and only we have the pieces to it and only we can orientate the pieces and make them fit. In that case I hope to be more nimble with my fingers and sharpen my eyesight so that I can fit the right pieces into the right holes soon.